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Today’s guest post is from the fabulous Alexandra, aka: The Empress from Good Day, Regular People, who also happens to be our Blogger of the Month!! Have you gone to visit her yet? If you have not had the chance to yet, make today THE day! It is writing like this that brings readers back again and again to her site.
Thank you so much Alexandra for being here for the month of March and for sharing your wonderful writing! It has been a true pleasure my friend!
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Last night, my boys and I were waiting in a store check out line, buying all the soccer gear they needed for the Spring season starting. There was a woman in front of us – who had to have seen me with my 3 children– speaking on her cellphone. We were shoulder to shoulder.
She was having a horrific cellphone conversation. She continued her phone conversation, at a level that could’ve been heard 20 feet away. And the contents of this call? Definitely should have been Puh-rivate. My family was forced to overhear details of her alcoholic mother that should have been confidential. I just shook my head. Was she thinking we couldn’t hear her? Was she thinking, “so what I don’t care it’s my business.” What made her feel this was OK?
I think, this: “hey, it’s easy to do what I want to do. I want to talk right now, and I’m going to. Besides, it can’t wait.”
Self absorption: your world, you’re the only one in it, who cares about your impact on others. What does it matter if others get pulled into your world and they don’t want to be.
I use these examples to ask my teenage sons, “what do you think about that? How did that make you feel to listen to her private life? Do you want to be that way?” Oh, yes, I ride them hard on this one.
There are examples all the time, sadly enough, of no awareness of others, of being more concerned with yourself more than anyone else.
I am shocked and flustered when I am unwillingly caught in these situations. I wonder if it’s the way society is going to be. I see this behavior more and more, and I don’t know if it’s a new laziness, or if it’s technology and all the temptations it brings, or if parents no longer take opportunity to teach when they see something inappropriate.
I also have to ask, is it me? Am I an old lady? Do I sound like an old lady? I do sound like an old lady, don’t I? I have become an old lady. Does this cellphone behavior bother only me, and younger people accept it as just life with cellphones?
Is my lack of tolerance for these things just what those on this side of 40 years old feel?
I don’t know anymore. Maybe it’s because I try to protect my children from things I don’t want them to hear, and when they are within earshot of some 20 year old male’s phone conversation discussing the hot babe from last night, I have no control over what my kids hear. Can the call not wait till they’re in the privacy of their car, or at least out of the store’s doors?
I spent an evening a few weeks ago, squirming, talking loudly, trying to drown out the person’s cellphone conversation in the booth behind us at a Mexican restaurant. It was a weekend, the place was busy, and we had to listen to a sobbing young girl get dumped by her boyfriend via phone call. She did not take it well, there was another girl involved. Oh, yeah, I know the whole story. The poor friend with her sat miserably across from her, uncomfortable — I ‘m sure her evening ruined, also. The drama…the threats..the tears. The unwilling audience.
A time and a place, people. Have we become so impulsive, so needy on the return of our initial contact, that we can no longer wait till we are in the car, or get home, to respond to our phone calls?
Help me out here, am I an old finger wagging lady who stays home with her kids? Or does this bother anyone else? Is it because I have children and I don’t want them to hear adult conversations? Or do you think cellphone use is the same as a public conversation between 2 people? Is it just the risk we take with leaving our houses?
Should I just welcome this Brave New World, and all the cellphones in it?
It’s a whole new world with cell phones. The lines are blurred about what’s private and what’s not. I don’t think you’re alone though. This would definitely bother me too.
Twitter: gdrpempress
Thank you so much, Kel, I’ve loved being your choice for Blogger Of the Month.
It’s been so wonderful to meet you, and get to know you.
Congratulations to all the other bloggers who will be honored with the role of Blogger of the Month at Mom Got Blog.
You offer everything here, Kel, and it’s a beautiful site.
Twitter: gdrpempress
AND I love this picture!
People just do not realize how annoying it is to hear their personal conversations!
We have a steadfast rule at our table- no phones, house or cell or ipods while sharing a meal together!
Again, thank you for being here and for this great post…
And I knew you would like the picture!
People need to get over themselves. There is such a sense of entitlement today, and I can’t stand the selfishness of just doing what YOU want to do and not seeing it from someone else’s perspective.
You are not wrong, Alexandra.
Ugh. Cell phones are the bane of my existence. I always have mine—but it’s not like I’m getting nonstop calls and texts. I don’t talk on it in the car (except on long car trips and ONLY if I have my bluetooth) as not to kill anyone, and I definitely don’t talk on it in line at the store OR when I’m out with other people. So I pretty much talk on it at home. Where I have a home phone. And a computer. And no real need for a cell phone. Makes no sense…
Oh, yeah – I’m with you all the way on this one! I put my phone on vibrate if I’m in a restaurant or movie. I wait until I’m finished before returning calls. NOTHING is that important that it can’t wait – and if, by some chance it is? Then go outside to talk! I just don’t understand the self absorption and rudeness of people these days. And don’t even get me started on drivers…running red lights, tailgating, etc. Argh.
Great post, Empress!
It is funny because me and my husband were talking about this exact thing when we went shopping in US on the weekend. We were at dinner and almost at every table in our vicinity, there was someone talking or texting on a cell phone. Like we don’t even answer our home phone during dinner!
I don’t get it…what happened to escaping the house and being free from calls? I wonder if their lives are so important that they need to be intouch at all times or if they just think they’re super cool because “Hey look at me! I have friends and a new phone”…Meh.
Twitter: fromtracie
I don’t understand big, long cell phone conversations in stores. And I really don’t understand them in restaurants!!
When my daughter was really little, if she started to get noisy in a restaurant, I would take her outside until she calmed down. Because I think that people have gone to a restaurant and spent a lot of money to have a nice meal, and my kid doesn’t have the right to invade their life with her noise. She hasn’t had to have one of those trips outside since she was about two…….I have sat in restaurants near lots of adults who could use a trip outside, because I would rather not have their loud cell phone conversation invade my meal.
Twitter: KelleysBreakRm
I totally agree, Alexandra! I don’t want my sons hearing everything about another person’s life, especially without warning. I think you’re right. People are just impulsive and want to take care of themselves right then and there without thinking of others around them.
Twitter: GalitBreen
My favorite part of this? Is how you used it tot each your children that there’s more than just us. of course you did! You’re all sorts of amazing that way.
And no, you’re not wrong. You’re wonderful. XO
There is definitely a time and a place for certain conversations- we have to remember that others can hear.
My biggest fail in this area, though? When I’m in my car. Like no one can see me when I’m driving. But, at least they can’t hear me on the phone! Or singing…really badly.
Twitter: partlysunnyblog
Sometimes I think the loud cell phone conversation is like a mini reality tv moment for people. They feel like they NEED to be noticed. If you view yourself as an insignificant being, just one among millions, not really mattering to anyone in particular, you need to have someone LOOK at you to feel like you exist. And with computers and cell phones, none of us even HAVE to look at each other anymore. So people have to get their fix somehow.
Twitter: fourplusanangel
Totally agree! I really like that you use this as a teachable moment for your kids as well. My biggest pet peeve is the people who use those ear piece phones while they shop and they walk around talking to the air. It seems as if you can hear their conversations even more than those who loudly blab into a phone.
You are not getting old. Society is becoming a giant trash heap.
This past weekend, I had to listen to some moron talk on his phone at the movie store. He was talking to his friends and he said I had to go to the movie store with my old lady. She’s started partying with some other guy, so I thought I’d better spend some time with her before she hooks up with him or something like that. At least he left that part clean. He then goes on about how he’d rather be at the strip club. I just wanted to smack him over the head with a DVD case. Hello moron. I do not want my child asking me what a strip club is. I do not wish to loudly explain to him about how I do not want him to grow up to be classless trash like yourself. The display of lack of respect for his girlfriend much less for those around him in the store was astounding.
Now I’m in a quandry. Do I go to the store earlier when they’re playing child friendly movies and risk running into
in-duh-viduals such as that fine gentleman? Or do I go later when the place is mostly empty but they tend to run trailers for horror flicks? Sigh. I’d like to keep going because they are a local place and they know their movies.