Sometimes I wish life came with a pause button. Not to stop big chunks of time, but to allow the little moments in the every day a chance to suspend just long enough to be absorbed fully and completely.
I look through old photographs and smile at the moments gone by captured in an instant. Memories that flood back to the forefront. Days of patty-cake, snuggles and bedtime stories. Celebrations of growing another year older, visits from the Tooth Fairy and self hair cuts for the kindergarten alphabet play.
Having fun being the big sister and playing princess to super heroes. Finding friendships and navigating through the “terrible teens”, learning the art of defensive driving and the time in life when you begin to realize when you think you know everything, you actually know nothing.
Our oldest will be off to college soon and the enormity is beginning to settle, making me stop and question did I do everything I could as a parent to help prepare you for this game called life? Did I read enough stories, give enough kisses, answer enough “why?” questions? Did I stop and appreciate all the little moments? Did I take the time to preserve as many memories as I possibly could knowing the brevity of time childhood possesses?
When holding a small hand once meant keeping her safe, I now reach for it to keep her close. I’m not ready to give up our every day conversations of how the day went or simply sharing our thoughts, nor am I ready to give up the constant arguments about things that won’t matter next week, because I know the quiet that is about to come will drive me more crazy. As heavy as it makes my heart feel, I realize it is time to let go.
I only wish I could push pause for just a moment.
Well, looks as though I am back to writing….it’s been a lovely and much needed break. I have missed you my friends!
This week I’ve decided to ease back slowly. I will share this with Just Be Enough as the question is always nagging if I have done enough as a parent.
I guess I’m in a linky love kind of mood!