photo: www.momgotblog.com
You may have noticed that the posts on the blog as of late have been pretty heavy in the food/recipe department.
To be completely honest, I’ve been writing a lot of those entries because they are easy and comforting to put together. I have to prepare 3 square meals for the kids each day – whether they eat what is made is another story – but, they do begin to whine quite a bit if I don’t feed them… so, I cook, maybe try a new recipe here and there and take some photos. Hopefully you have not minded too much.
Writing, like actual writing, has been hard the past few weeks. I’ve sat in front of the computer screen and tapped the same rhythmic beat with finger tips over and over. No words, just tapping along to a made up tune.
The kids and I traveled to DC last week to visit hubs- and you would think having HOURS on the train would allow the words to flow on paper with no distractions or interruptions. I did add a chapter to my novel – but that even felt like I was only getting the main outlying points down on paper. After that chapter, I put away my pen and read a book on writing. The irony.
I thought it might be burnout, but that isn’t it really. There are a ton of drafts started in files with great ideas, yet the words continue to sit there waiting to be pieced together to create their story. I’ve also been working on a new venture behind the scenes and although in the toddler stage, it is demanding my time much like a two year old.
We are in the home stretch of hub’s six month work assignment. The end is so close I can see it, yet it stretches out in front of me like the never ending hallway in a horror flick. I thought I could handle everything with ease…writing, work, house stuff, carting the kids, balancing the budget…etc.
But you know what?
I’m tired.
I am so incredibly exhausted I can barely function. Life is moving along, but nothing is getting done at 100%…I would be lucky if it would top out at 40. I feel like I am living life on the periphery…like the chapter I wrote on the train. The candle has definitely been burning at both ends and it has caught up to me right smack dab in the middle.
I know I have been doing the best I can, but for some reason I feel like I am failing. At what, I have not the slightest.
So, I turned to what comforts me; food. Not so much the eating of food, but the creation of a dish. The process of gathering ingredients, following instructions, making something that smells good enough to beckon eager appetites to the kitchen to enjoy the results.
Food may continue to take center stage on the blog for a few more weeks. It allows me to feel like I am successful in remaining connected. Hopefully after hubs is home, I will fall back into a more stable routine of sharing fiction, crazy family antics and funny stories.
In the meantime, I hope you will come back to the blog hungry; hungry for good food and the return of good stories.
Twitter: ByWordsMusings
Remember ‘Soul Food’? Well, look at it this way … you writing about food, your words, your photo’s, the love with which you create for your family – it is feeding your soul, their souls and actually … us too, your readers.
Because each post lets us in a little more, and when you are passionate about something, as you are about working with food, creating something with your hands and with your heart … it nourishes us too.
Will always be here my love, always xxx
Can I tell you that your comment just made my heart full of joy? Thank you for that. I cannot tell you how truly blessed I feel to have you as a friend. Honest to goodness.
XOXO
You know… I kind of like all the food posts! Then again I like food, cooking, baking, and love seeing what everyone else is doing.
Thanks Jackie!! I love when you have food recipes too!
Twitter: TechValleyFood
Ah, comfort food. It’s a favorite pass time. Love the stuff!
I think all of us feel at a loss as to why we feel we’re failing at different times in our lives. I even think it’s natural for us to not be able to put our fingers on what it is we feel we’re failing at …many many times in our lives.
Turning to food is just a natural migration to seek out reassurance and comfort. It’s not at all surprising that the basics of a simple process like creating a dish or two makes you feel better. It’s where can you be you, express yourself, and show the ones you love just how much you love them. Not to mention…you’re giving yourself a little love too.
Don’t despair, you’re soooo not a failure at anything. You’re just overwhelmed with life. It does that to us sometimes.
It is a comfortable place to be and somewhere I feel safe. You are so right that food is such a reflection of nourishing the soul.
Overwhelmed, yes!
Twitter: daddyrunsalot
I certainly understand “comfort writing.” And I understand tired.
What I like most about this post, though, is that I actually sense a smile when you write about your husband returning . . . it sounds like “good” is right around the corner.
And you know we’re going to be around whenever you’re writing. Right?
Thank you John! A smile indeed was on my face as I typed that! I cannot wait until he is home.
A smile also curled my cheeks to read you will still be here when I write…
Oh, dear. Hang in there. I understand completely – that feeling of never being able to reach 100%. But don’t feel like your words aren’t connecting. Because this post was wonderful. And I loved the reference to the horror flick hallway – so perfect for what you were describing.
I’m so glad I could convey that feeling with the hallway visual…it was the only way I could think of describing it!
Thank you for the support too…it’s been a LONG six months. Never again.
Twitter: Dakotapam
I get that! Hang in there! When my life gets hectic my blog gets food heavy as well. I think February can be a rough month for all of us, we get a little run down! You are doing great and things are looking up!
Thank you Pam! It is just so easy to share about food, isn’t it??
And yes, things are definitely looking up!